In Boston...  

The Spagetti Monster say: You Libz have failed me! 

Even as Gas prices soar and stocks plummet,  

paradise on earth is lost along with paradise in Heaven 

Pastafarians believe the afterlife consists of a free beer factory

and  24/7 hot strippers giving free lap dances!

Hell is s place where the beer is warm and flat (PBR mostly)

and the strippers are strung out on drugs, anf all have Venerial diseases.

Pastafarian women dressed as pirates have vowed to stop pole dancing 

and " lap dances are out of the question" they say.

Rachel, a twenty year old college student from DeMoine Iowa,

dressed as the famous Caribbean pirate Blackbeard remarked:

Until women are again provided free "healthcare"

including late term abortion as a constitutional right 

without being forced to see an ultrasound of the so called "baby"

before they suck its brains out and chop it up into pieces

"We will stop having sex" She said. 

Male Pastafarians point out the fact "Oral sex" has been Nature's birth control 

since Og the cave man first discovered it , whenever Ms Og played hard to get 

The point to the fact President Clinton also made that distinction 

sayng he didn't have "sex with that woman" ( monika lewinski)

Monika reputedly blew the president and even " tossed his salad"

according to the investigation that lead to Bills impeachment

( long before he ever started eating pizza with Jeffrey Epstine. )

All this has caused great divisions between male as female pastafarisns. 

"It's a  time for prayer and reflection" one Pastafarian minister remarked, 

"if heaven is full of pregnant strippers with the clap, I'd say it's  a like hell.,

I sadly must support the present female sex strike, including blow jobs, 

until free unlimited Abortion on demand at any stage of pregnancy becomes the law of the land"

Pastafarian men are now leaving the church in droves, some are actually hanging out with Jetsheep!

" That dress May make his ass look fat,"  one former pastsfarisn parishioner remarked,

"but he sure knows how to "take a walk on the wild side -- and he can't get pregnant!" 

The abortion sex strike is now being being seen as a victory for the male gay rights movement, who claim

"Lib men haven always given better head than Lib women. "

"Pastsfarianism"  " has been now labeled a 'right wing mysogynistic religion," by the leftist main stream media

second only to the much hated and often villified Catholic Church! 

"The entire cosmology and eternal  promises of pastafarisnism have recently come into serious question. 

---

NEW YORK, NY - After feminists around the country vowed to stop having sex, men across the nation have remained blissfully unaware anything has changed.

"Huh? Who stopped having sex?" responded every man told of the development. "Wow, I had no idea. Good for them, I guess?"

The so-called 'sex strike' had been launched by leftist women in response to the potential overturning of Roe v. Wade. "The right is trying to create this dystopian world where sex has some connection to pregnancy and babies," explained pro-abortion protester Lona Malachi. "Pregnancy is basically making a woman your slave, just like in The Handmaid's Tale. So as long as sex has anything to do with babies, we simply won't have it!" she exclaimed, before attempting to inhale air without taking in oxygen.

Despite the clarion call for an end to sex from female media personalities and politicians, surveys have shown that absolutely zero men have been affected. "Our research indicates the strike has not hit the intended target," said sociology professor Sharon Young. "The nation's cats, however, have reported a general increase in angry yelling by their owners."

At publishing time, liberals were calling for a hunger strike until it becomes legal for doctors to suck food out of your stomach so eating doesn't risk leading to digestion.

thanks to the Supreme court decision to overturn Roe vs Wade.

Useful Idiots!